Happy One Year Moviversary to Me!!!!! It’s been 366 days (leap year) since I moved to T-town! Yay!

Things have been crazy busy. I’m not much for loving a fast pace of life, but apparently that is what the doctor has ordered. It’s like I’m on a freakin merry-go-round, and I have no clue when or where it’s going to stop.

Work. The number one reason I’ve had time for little to nothing else. We are understaffed at the moment, so lucky ‘ol me is going to be putting in overtime again. Yuck. On the other hand, it keeps me out of trouble which is always a good thing. On the other hand, I can feel my health washing away bit by bit from stress. Is there any happy medium? I haven’t slept through the night in over three weeks, and my stomach feels like it’s eating itself. So. Not. Cool.

There’s been a number of ongoing issue with work that I wonder if they will ever get resolved. I came aboard at the worst possible time, yet I would like to also think it gives me that much more of an opportunity to turn things around. Can it be done? Take this morning for example. I arrive to the office to see the entry gate opening and closing, opening and closing. There is no stopping, it just continues right along in that pattern.

I first went to manually override the gate to stay open to avoid anyone getting hurt. Then, upon closer inspection, I find that somebody crashed into the gate. Not only is the gate bent, but the side of the gate’s pillar has been filed right off. I went right inside and went through the surveillance videos until I found the guilty party. Score! They are so busted, and they are so paying the bill for the repairs. I felt pleased with my detective work. Just because I’m not here after six o’clock at night doesn’t mean I don’t know what goes on afterwards. Mystery solved.

So that is just one instance in a typical day for me at work. It is quite a switch going from having little responsibility working for a lawyer to having all the responsibility of managing. Yikes! I’m afraid to find out how much the repairs are going to be, but not for me, for gate crashers! No better is ever sorry until they get caught, and I assure you this is something the tenant was so not counting on.

Moving on. I’ve booked my flight to go home next month for my high school reunion. I cannot believe it’s been ten years now! I don’t feel a day over 23! I felt better the other day however after having my ego pleasantly stroked. I stopped for a quick cocktail at DB’s my usual hole in the wall bar. We got to talking about age and A, the bartender thought I was only 24-25. Oh how I love her even more now! I may or may not have gotten a little tipsy and spoke with A (my A) when I got home. The damn dialys get me every time!

I guess you could say we are taking a break. We still care about each other obviously, but with the stress we are both under with work I suppose we are just giving each other some breathing room. After all, if it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, can’t say we didn’t try. Only stressed out manager Kari would be so calm about it. Before I took this position I was still an anxiety attack waiting to happen. Now, I don’t even have the time to worry about the mundane things going on lately. Whatever the reason for it all, I’m certain the universe has a plan for me. I would just be a happier camper if I knew what that was.

While I am making preparations for the kid and I to fly back next month, I am also looking forward to the Memorial day holiday. Can you believe I will have four days off in a row?! That’s like HUGE! I never even have two days off in a row anymore, so I’m stoked! Now my challenge is to find a soft carrier for the kid that meet the airport dimensions of acceptable. Not cheap.

Hopefully by the time my mini-holiday rolls around I will find some time to get out the camera and have some fun! I think I’ve picked it up once in the past month and it makes me sad. I love taking photos! Until then my schedule shall consist of no more than working, bathing, eating and getting my tan on. What? You didn’t think I was going to start the summer looking all pasty did you?

I’ve got a feeling. Not a wonderful one. There’s an overwhelming sensation consuming me and I can’t shake it. I feel as though now that I’ve finally learned all of the rules, someone has gone and changed the object of the game. It’s unsettling. It’s disappointing. Is it meant to be something else?

I’m at a stalemate. I can’t go forward because I’m not quite sure what it is I’m seeking, and taking a step back is wrong in its entirety. I’ve made too much progress. Can someone turn a light on? It’s getting dark in here. I need a guide, a sign, a voice in my head telling me it’s okay if I’m a little lost. I’m somewhere a million people have come before, so what’s the big deal?

I think one of the reasons my mind is racing so much is because for the first time in weeks I’ve actually had time to think. What little free time I have had I seem to spend either sleeping or reading. It’s not just work, it’s not just thinks with A (or the lack of). Just not knowing what my next move is going to be is enough to make my skin crawl.

I suppose I’m a bit like the character Two-Face from Batman in my own way. I’m a planner. I plan things I know are likely to never happen, but I enjoy planning them none the less. On the other side of my face, I’m spontaneous. I like that I can get up and leave town if I need to get away just because. I like having the freedom to rearrange my house twice a week if the mood strikes me. So maybe I can somehow plan to be spontaneous? LOL!

Maybe I am just looking at things the wrong way. Instead of panicking I should be bouncing up and down as though I’ve just won the lottery. I need to remind myself that not having something set in stone can actually be a good thing. Sure I’ve got responsibilities just like the next person, but I’ve got a great deal of freedom as well. If I can change my attitude, perhaps this feeling of uneasiness shall lift thus setting me free. After all, I rather enjoying having the option of changing my mind at the last minute.

I can’t believe I made it through this past week alive. It has been pure hell to say the least and I must admit, I’m proud of myself! Most of it has been work related. I’ve been crazy busy with new tenants, Tuesday brought meetings, Wednesday and Thursday I had painters, etc. Even looking at it in a sentence is exhausting to me! That to say the least was the inner most core of the apple. No, scratch that. It was the core and then some!

I’m afraid that on top of all this work chaos the outer edges of the apple have even been a bit spoiled. What outer edges you say? That would be things with A. They aren’t good. I could sugarcoat it, but I see no reason to. After having been on the road for work for a month, he finally made it back home a little over a week ago. I noticed almost instantly there was a change.

The first couple of days he was distant and not his sweet normal self. I didn’t make a big deal about it because I thought he should catch up with his friends after having been working out of town the past month. Well, another day past and then another one. Instead of settling back into the A that I am use to, he seemed to turn sour. I finally acknowledged something wasn’t right and started going over things in my head.

To make a long story short, I think he’s more into the idea of us than anything. It’s like he needs me to be his cheerleader (which I always have been), but as soon as the pressure is off him the role I played seems to just dissolve. I feel that he honestly thinks his job and working in general is more important than any job or anything I could possibly do, and that’s the truth. He’s always liked things a certain way, his way. He likes for me to be available when he needs me, not when I actually can be. What started as a tasty red apple is now looking more like a rotten apple someone tossed away because it wasn’t good enough. I can’t deal with what I now deal with on a daily basis at work just to hear him snap at me on the other end of the line when I’m off the clock.

At this point I don’t even know where things stand, but honestly I am so worn to the core right now I can’t even begin to sink my teeth into it. I kind of saw it coming right before he was getting back to his home state, but I waited to see how things played out before making any conclusions. And even now - I haven’t got much. It’s exhausting waiting to see what mood someone is in so you can attempt to plan for the future they way he wants me to. They once seemed like our plans, but now I’m thinking it’s just been his plan all along. I don’t know.

I’ve vowed to myself that I will try my hardest to just relax this weekend and enjoy it. I haven’t had two days off in a row since early March and I don’t want the weekend to just spoil away. I’m going to spend some QT with the kid going for a nice walk, watch a couple of films, and maybe even get out and about. I just know right now I need to de-stress because it?s easting away at my health. Man, what a week! How do ya like them apples?

So I was tagged by Golden!

here are the rules:

1. link the person who tagged you…

2. mention the rules in your blog…

3. tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. tag 6 following bloggers by linking them

5. leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

And herrrrrrrre we go:

1. As I mentioned to Golden, I set to alarms to go off in the morning because I’m paranoid I’ll oversleep. You do not want to sleep at my house on a ’school’ night.
2. I have my closet color categorized. It’s one of those things I’m all OCD about.
3. I still watch cartoons. I don’t care if you think I’m to old for them. I think they are funny and keep me young at heart.
4. I rarely go in other peoples’ cars because I’m a bad passenger. I’ve been hit by too many cars.
5. People with bad stained teeth make me uncomfortable. I think I assume if they can’t take care of their teeth, then the probably don’t take the good of care of themselves in general.
6. I’m ISO of a kind soul to update my Wordpress for me. After this last time I don’t even want to go there in fear of messing something up. Any takers?

Tag YOU ARE it!

I will tag Shelly, LC, Shai, MandaRenee, Burning Prairie, and Atisee via Twitter.

So the last couple of days have been interesting. When I came home for lunch on Tuesday afternoon there was a notice on all of our doors. The notice informed us that for the first time in the nine years the property has been open, there had been a robbery. Not just one, but two in less than a month. One of them occurred in broad daylight, while the other was sometime between eleven at night and five in the morning this past weekend.

After some nosing around I learned that both robberies took place on ground floor apartments via the patio door (my apartment type). The one that happened in the middle of the night is scary because these renters were actually in bed sleeping while it took place! I talked to our grounds keeper who said they were going to be replacing all of the ground floor patio door locks, because unlike the front hallway doors, they are easier to pick.

Fast forward to yesterday night when I went out to walk the dog. There was another renter walking towards are building when he started talking to me. Over the next forty minutes, I would learn that he was the first victim of being burglarized and lives in MY building two doors down. In addition to this he told me that unlike the second break in which the locks were picked, his was not a forced entry. As in, these people used a freaking key!

I learned all the details he knew about each break in. While we were cutting through his living room to go out on the patio I noticed his carpet. I had noticed it because I thought it was way nicer than mine and I really like it. In reply he mentioned something about how it was getting ripped out.

After getting the kid and myself locked safely back indoors, it came to me. I can?t know for sure if this is purely coincidence or it may actual mean something, but I?m going to tell you anyways. I believe it was last week on my day off. It was early afternoon on Thursday and the kid and I were just hanging out at home. He started to woof at some noise in the hallway. Being the curious person I am, I went to the front door and looked out my peep hole. In the hallway not even five feet away I observed two guys who looked to be finishing up a carpeting job. They replace the carpet often when a tenant moves out (or in this particular case just abandon the apartment).

I continued to peak out the peep whole and listening to what the two men were saying. I couldn?t make it all out, but I specifically remember one of the guys saying something about the door locks being different due to the ?spacing?. I didn?t have a clue what it meant, but just figured they may?ve been discussing it because I noticed they had to change the locks since the last tenant mysteriously disappeared. While the guy was talking about the difference in the ?spacing? in the locks, he grabbed onto my door/lock as if to show the other guy what he was talking about. I of course just continued to hide on the other side of the door.

Anyway, to make an already long story short, I didn?t remember this incident until last night when I had made the comment about my neighbors carpet. It wasn?t until I wondered why they were ripping his out that I started trying to piece the whole thing together. How would nobody notice a couple of guys making off with over $5,000 in electronic equipment in broad daylight? Maybe nobody noticed them because they were quite possibly workers that were often on the property and no one would think twice about them loading their ?carpet? and other things into the back of a van. So far, all the evidence of the robberies are pointing to it being an inside job. What I heard and saw outside my door my be just a coincidence, but then again maybe not.

To be on the safe side, I spoke with the property management today and told her the whole story. She seemed very suspicious as it would make so much sense since these guys have there own entry codes, keys, etc. I really hope I?m wrong, that these guys have nothing to do with the break ins. Seriously though, why would people who are there just to replace the carpet be talking about the locks? Am I crazy, or does it all add up to you?

This edition of Buried Treasures brings about another eclectic mix of things found on my surfing expeditions in cyberspace.

Old Me Young Me: The deadline is past, but it’s a trip looking through those who entered the contest. The idea is to try and recreate the same pose of yourself found in a picture from when you were very young. It’s truly fascinating how creative some of these people get! To look through click on the gallery link at the top.

Time Machiner: Do you want to send an email to yourself a year from now? With Time Machiner, you can do just that. Maybe a little reminder to your future self is in order.

Pet Peek: For the animal enthusiast who believes pets should be just as spoiled as us humans. It’s a neat idea if you’re like me and feel bad when your pet is confined into a fence with no view.

Gmail Custom Time: Did you miss emailing your big report by the deadline? With Gmail Custom Time you can set a custom date all the way back to April 2004!

Oh Don’t Forget: Do you ever wish someone would text you a reminder for a birthday or other important event? Oh Don’t Forget allows you to schedule a text message to be sent to your phone on the date and at the time you want it.

Daily Lit: This is perfect for someone who likes to read but can never find the time. With Daily Lit, you will receive only a part at a time allowing you to read an entire book in installments send over a period of time.

That’s all for this edition of Buried Treasures. Do you have a great site you would like to share? Let me know and I’ll be happy to include it in a special edition of Buried Treasures!

The following is something I found scribbled in a notebook:

April 17, 2007 9:15 A.M.
Currently at MSP airport. Am hot and cannot wait to land in Tulsa so I can take a shower. Going to be weird seeing JP. His roomie is picking me up, Rich, I think. Next on route to Memphis at ten twenty-one. Two hour flight. Good thing I just ate McD’s breakfast and a big soda.

9:58 A.M.
Part of the flight crew arrived late. Boarding should’ve already started, but no! I can’t believe some people. This older business man was talking some major shit to his wifey on the phone. So wanted to go slap the asshat.

Wow. And then later that day I arrived to what would become my future home. That doesn’t seem like a year ago. Amazing how much has changed, though I still make regular use of the word asshat

It’s been a chill day. I love chill days. The only sounds I hear are that of the rain, birds chirping and the sounds of Secondhand Serenade coming from my iPod. I notice the sun is beginning to set as I see the flicker of the candle on my kitchen counter glowing ever so slightly. Perfect.

I’m looking over at the kid laying on his blanky with his duck baby that his daddy gave him. Oh how he loves his duck baby. The kid hates the rain. You’d think him to be a woman with her hair all done up afraid of ending up looking like a washed up hood rat. Me - I can go either way. For a day like today it’s welcomed. The rain offers the calmness I need to remind myself to just sit back and exhale for awhile. Let it drown out thoughts and anxieties that cripple me on a daily basis long enough to feel rejuvenated. Yeah, that’s what I needed.

It seems since taking the new job I’ve turned back into the girl who can never get work out of her head. I catch myself making lists in my mind; things I need to get for the office, upcoming meetings, its role in my near future, etc. It’s like a record skipping on the most painfully agitating song over and over. Does it ever stop?

That’s my mind for ya. No matter how kicked back I am, the wheels are always turning and turning about things I shouldn’t worry about, maybe shouldn’t even care about. Ah, the life of a wallflower. Always trying to blend quietly into the background all while observing all that is going on around her. That’s me.

Tomorrow shall be blaring out another tune on the radio. I’ll be 110% back in chaotic mode on a caffeine high causing me to bounce of the walls. It’s not so bad. I love that I get to be by myself again except for the occasional tenant stopping in to pay their bill because they have yet to discover the powers of the internets and online bill pay. Oh if they only knew. I digress.

I’m off to enjoy my last few hours of tranquility. Before I know it the alarm will be blaring at me to get my arse out bed and into the shower. Whatever will I wear? Yeah, as if it won’t be my usual attire of jeans, a screen tee and hoodie. I’m apparently a creature of habit

It’s been such a Monday. I officially hate Mondays. It began with my having to say goodbye to A. I had to be to work before he left so already the day started on a down note. Further down the road I was getting some breakfast and instead of my usually large Coke I was given Dr. Pepper. I would’ve gone back through the drive thru, but by the time I realized it was the wrong soda I was already at the office.

When I was doing my weekly run to the post office I got all the way there before I realized I had forgotten part of the paperwork I needed to mail off. So my luck. I eventually got the right material before heading back to the PO and standing in line for a good fifteen minutes. Me no likie the post office.

From there I headed to lunch. On my way my gas light turns on warning me that I needed to get some fuel before I ran out. I do not like getting petro for the Highlander with the way gas prices are. I tapped out just under fifty bucks for a full tank. Fifty! An outrage indeed!

I headed home from the fuel stop at QT to let out the kid and take him for a walk. After his daily exercise I filled his dish with kibble and grabbed my things to head out. As I was leaving A called me from the airport. It wasn’t until a few minutes after I hung up with him that I noticed it.

I was half way back to the office I saw that my handbag was not sitting properly next to me in the car, so here I go huffing and puffing at myself for forgetting it. I knew I got distracted while I was on the phone and just flat out forgot it. I quickly switch lanes on Riverside to bust a U-turn and go back south.

At some point I made it back, ran into the house for my bag, and headed back towards work yet again. I was pressed for time as a result so I just hit the drive thru once again for some lunch. (You would think I would avoid the place all together after the breakfast episode). I sipped my drink before I drove away from the window to confirm it was in fact Coke this time. (See I’m learning) Finally, something went right.

It’s been a busy and hectic day in the very least. I just found out in a couple of weeks that The Company is having some meeting that is going to last all day long. All day! Being the new kid on the block I am kind of nervous as to what this will be about. I’m still trying to get up to speed as there is much to learn and no teacher in sight.

On a totally unrelated note, this is my new favorite gum. I saw it in the isle this weekend when A and I were at Super Tarjay grabbing a couple of things. I’m not sure if it’s the flavor I love so much or the fact that its only got four calories per piece. I will admit, I am fond of the little cubes they come in. For me, different = appealing. Oh, and something about the box. It’s kind of, well, cute I guess

Now for my visit from A. He got to my house Saturday evening only moments after I got home from work. After each of us got freshened up we headed out for dinner here. I had a couple of glasses of pinot grigio with my usual order of the house green salad followed by a California and Philly roll. Following tradition we headed to DB’s for some cocktails and kicking back. Somewhere between the wine and Cranvodkas it snuck up on me and left me a little tipsy. As we were both pretty wiped we headed home before midnight to rest up.

Sunday I started to feel my sinus infection coming on so I wasn’t at my best. We poked around for awhile feeling the after effects of the previous night and finally managed to get showered and ready for the day. I’m a firm believer in eating a big brunch the morning after any heavy drinking.

I knew it was going to be a long wait because of church goers, but we headed over to First Watch anyways to fill up with some calories. After what seemed like forever and a day we were finally seated and ordered. I figured I wouldn’t stray from my usual hangover cure and get the Eggs Benedict to absorb the alcohol. It helped, but I just had to get some sinus meds in me before my face would stop aching.

We headed over to Wally world where I finally got some meds and a brand spanking new tv! I wasn’t expecting to be buying one, but one thing led to another and I now have this. It’s not nearly as big as the P.O.S. I had before it went haywire, but what an improvement! The picture is very sharp and it takes up hardly any room at all

After getting the new tube home and set up we retreated to the futon to watch a movie and a little cat nap. Mr. King writes some pretty messed up stuff, but the ending of The Mist left my mind tormented. I thought it was the most depressing thing ever! If you like movies that mess with your head, that would be right up your alley. Definitely a little out there.

We had some time to kill before our dinner reservation so that’s when we headed to Super Tarjay across town. Other than my beloved new gum, I grabbed a new book that I had been eyeing for the last couple of months. I won’t start it probably until later in the week as I still have half of this left to read. What would my world be without books?

A and I made it over to Shogun which is a Japanese steakhouse, one of my favorite places to eat when I have company in town. I once again got my usual which was the steak and lobster. Add that on top of the soup, salad, friend rice, veggies, etc. and you’ve got one horribly full girl. That is one place I do not stop eating once full. I just keep right on going because it’s so tasty! I figure if my honey is going to treat me to such fab dinner, than the least I can do is appreciate every last bite of it

Now that A is gone, I’ve got some things to get in order around the house. With the new and improved smaller tv I think I will do some rearranging and spring cleaning. I’m almost certain I will be needing some sort of alternate therapy to calm me from the chaotic day and that usually does the trick. With just over an hour to go I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and am preparing to exhale. It’s about time - I’m out of breath!